Espresso Paws has been head barista at Purrcolator Cafe for six years. In that time he has made no coffee. He has, however, supervised the making of eleven thousand cups, mostly by sitting on the machine and glaring until it works.
Early career
Espresso Paws came to us from the street, where he lived behind a bakery and learned the value of a warm vent. He arrived at the cafe door in the winter, looked at the radiator, and said, in the language of his people, “I will take charge.”
He rose quickly. Within a month he had been promoted to Senior Floor Observer. Within a year he was Head of Steam. Today, he sits on the top of the machine, in the warm spot between the group head and the cup rail, which is the best seat in the house.
His methods
Espresso Paws describes his method as “intuitive”. It consists of:
- Waking at 4:30 AM and yowling at the beans until they are ground.
- Watching the barista’s hands for the first signs of weakness.
- Offering feedback through gentle paw taps on the cup.
- Departing swiftly if a customer attempts to pet him.
On the art of the pour
Asked about latte art, Espresso Paws said, “The cow has no feeling for pattern.” He then looked at the milk jug for forty seconds and walked away. A junior barista later found a small heart in the foam. We believe it was an accident, but we have not asked.
His philosophy
“A cup is not a cup until it has been looked at. Once it has been looked at, it is mine.”
Challenges
Like all professionals, Espresso Paws faces challenges. The steam wand frightens him. The grinder offends him. The bell on the door is, in his words, “a personal attack”. He has asked to have it replaced with a gentler bell, and we have told him that no such bell exists.
Awards
Last year he was named Cafe Mascot of the Year in a ceremony that took place in the back office. He was the only nominee. He accepted the award by sitting on the certificate.
Future plans
He plans to expand the role of supervision into other areas, including the till, the bin, and the queue. We support this plan and are wary of it.