Purrcolator Cafe is delighted to announce its Autumn Menu, available from the first cool morning until the staff stop being interested. All items are subject to availability, the availability of the cat, and the mood of the cat.
The drinks
- The Pumpkin Spiced Purr: a latte of the standard kind, served in a cup that Espresso Paws has already inspected. A small paw print is included at no extra cost.
- The Hazelnut Hiss: a drink that tastes of hazelnut and mild disapproval.
- The Maple Meow: sweet, golden, and served with a long stare from the end of the counter.
- The Chai Chaos: contains cinnamon, ginger, and a single cat hair, as a mark of provenance.
The food
Our pastry cabinet will feature the following:
- The Croissant of Many Layers, which has more layers than we can count and one hole in the back where the cat entered.
- The Apple Cinnamon Slice, which is sold by weight and is always lighter than it was in the morning.
- The Pumpkin Loaf, served warm, or served cool after being sat upon.
- The Almond Biscuit of Reluctant Sharing, which is not for sharing.
A word from the management
Madame Latte Whiskerton said, “Autumn is a time of reflection. It is also a time for people to buy more things from me.” She then went back to sleep on the till.
Dietary information
We cater for all dietary requirements, provided the requirement is dairy. Customers who are lactose intolerant may enjoy our Water Selection, which consists of one glass of water with a lemon.
Ordering
To order, please approach the counter, wait for the cat to notice you, wait again, and say the name of your drink in a clear voice. The cat will then stare at the barista. The barista will then make your order. The system has never failed, except when it has.
Special offers
Any customer who orders three drinks receives a fourth, which will be taken by the cat.
Allergens
Our products may contain traces of fur, tail, or the philosophy of a cat. We cannot guarantee a fur free environment, and we do not wish to.
Come in from the cold. Bring a book. Leave your pastry unattended at your own risk.